Snap out of it...

Some of you may know that I was involved in the London bombing in July 05. By involved I mean i was on the tube next to the tube that exploded. I was on the carriage directly opposite. I suffered for a long time after that day, although on the face of it i seemed as jolly as normal, I failed to ever really talk to anyone about how it felt.

Eventually after being unable to sleep for several weeks in 2005 i sought treatment. It was called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but essentially to me it seems like just another name for depression. At the time I had one or two other major things going wrong in my life, and this just knocked me back. I had various types of treatment, the most success being CBT. I attended courses for a 12 week period which really helped. I don’t think I’m any different that many people in that I’m unable to talk about my emotions. This gave me the platform to talk to people that I didn’t know, and would be unlikely to come across again. This way i found it much easier to talk.

Being out of the country for Vegas 7/7 had pretty much escaped me, and even on returning to work and speaking with my boss i felt i had no issues. I’d pretty much avoided any show or footage regarding 7/7 since the day. It’s not that i didn’t want to see it, but i felt if i don’t talk about it or see anything then i can lock it away at the back of my mind.

Last Sunday I watched ‘The Angels of Edgware Road’. Then I watched it again straight after, and again after that. Some of the facts seemed a little off, but in general it was spot on. I broke down again remembering all the images and sounds I’d locked away. I couldn’t sleep. Monday I felt very low and couldn’t sleep again. Today I’ve been to see my GP who’s given me some tablets to knock me out which I’ll take in a minute, but right now i don’t think anything could knock me out.

This is rather self indulgent i know, but I thought writing this might help.

I’ll update on other more interesting topics soon, and not just my sleeping patterns.

Success?? or not.

I came back from Vegas feeling as tho' i'd failed. Yes i'd had an awesome holiday, Vegas never fails to disappoint. Yes i'd cashed in more tournaments that ever before, but i didn't make the big score, and i tilted badly in cash games and made calls i shouldn't have. I played in general better that i could have hoped, but on some key hands that would have defined the trip i failed.

Caesars
$220 - 30th out of 666 - paid $441 (1st paid $26,000)
$330 - 20th out of 441 - paid $660 (1st paid $24,000)
$330 - 52nd out of 489
$55 - 1st out of roughly 60 (i think, although maybe more) paid $1050

Ventian
$330 - 77th out of roughly 500

Rio
$1500 - 340th out of 2714.

The final one at the Rio was the worst. 12 hours and zero to show for it. In hindsight i perhaps should have played a few hands slightly differently, but we live and we learn. I think with only 300 left i set my sights on a win or bust strategy. Perhaps I should have cashed and then worried about finishing nearer the top.

On top of all that i won several one table SNG's, but all that went by playing so bad in the cash games. Maybe next year i'll steer clear of cash and just go after the tourneys...

Anyway. Providing my health is good then i plan to try and play some GUKPT events this year.

As I write this I have to say that railing the ME to the final 9 i'm a little gutted that Hellmuth or the Mouth didn't make it... it would have made for a great final in November. It'll be interesting to see if Harrahs/WSOP and ESPN manage to build the profile of the final 9 to get people to tune in.

$1500 WSOP event - Gutted

Day 5

Today I played the $1500 WSOP NLHE Event. I registered for it yesterday and the plan the night before was to get a early night (well early for Vegas!), and be up in time to relax in the sun before the event.

I woke up at midday, and as the event started at midday all wasn't going to plan. After a shower and shave i wandered over to the Rio stopping at Starbucks on the way to get a sandwich and a vanilla frappuccino. I arrived nearly an hour late, but had only lost around 150 chips out of the 3000 i started with. With 1 hour levels and a very slow structure their is play, but i favoured a tight aggressive stance as their is a huge amount of poor players in this event.

3rd hand in and i look down to find AA in the BB. It folds to the small blind who raises to 200. I min raise to 400 and he calls. The flop comes down Q42. He bets out 600 and I ponder before calling. He bets the the Turn (K) to the tune of 800 and then I raise all in. He dwells up for 5 mins before mucking his card. He claims to have mucked AK. Unlikely as he was committed by the turn. The very next hand I look down to see JJ, i'm starting to feel like it's my day. It folds to the cut-off who raises (it had been a lively table with a double up or bust mentality) to 300. I raise to 800 and the BB folds. It goes back to him and he pushes for nearly 6k?! What does he put me on that he can do this? Anyway i'm pretty sure i'm ahead, but even if he has AK,AQ etc then it's a coin flip. I fold and flip over the jacks. The table at this point can't believe i folded jacks which I guess is typical of the $1500 WSOP events. In the first 4 hours or so there was no other major hands of note, my chips when up and down but always in the right direction. By dinner there were only 670 players left out of the 2,714 players that entered and i was on 17k in chips, which was a little above average.

After dinner I play two pots in quick succession.

Hand 1 - I raise from early position with AJ sooted. The BB calls and we see a flop. It comes 258 rainbow and he checks to me. I figure to call the raise pre-flop he must have big cards KQ KJ maybe as the call represented nearly 20% of his stack. I bet out at the flop and he pushes. As i have nothing and no draws I fold. Down to 14k in chips. Was this the right fold?

Hand 2 - Folds to the SB (i'm in the BB). SB raises to 2400 (Blinds were 600/300/75) and I min raise with AK to 5000. He ponders then calls so we see a flop. the flop come A72 all Spades, and I have none. He checks to me and I push. Now I have him on AK as well, AQ, or maybe AJ. He thinks for 5 mins and and eventually calls and flips over KK, with the king of spades. I dodge the spades and double up to 28kk!!

Sadly after that i go card dead. I steel where I can, but which a raise before me and no cards it was hard work. We got down to around 350 with me only 14k in chips and around an hour from the money. I look down in the cut off to see 88. Now if I raise to (500/1k blinds) 4k am i going to fold for a reraise. It would leave me crippled so i decide to push. I get called by KK in the BB and the rest is history. I felt gutted afterwards as I probably could have limped into the money, but wanted to go further so was happy at this stage to gamble a little more...

Next attempt is money, but to play then i'll have to sell 40% of me. I try and raise the funds today.

Off today to play Sat's and at the Bellagio against the rich tourists with cash to lose...

Same shoe... different foot..

Just finished my evening session at the Rio. I couldn't hit anything. Sat down with $500 and lost that with 30 mins. My 2 pair beaten by a flush. Then I had to laydown a set when the river made a flush. It was only $100 to call into a $450 pot, but I folded. The table couldn't believe it, but the kind gent (who was raking my chips in!) showed the nut flush and that it was a good laydown. Still, it didn't feel good. I put my last $$$ in with a flush draw that didn't come...

Poor session. Down $800. Definitely not playing not playing the $2000 tomorrow now. I'll wait and play the $1500 on Saturday. I'll play cash tomorrow and then do a little shopping maybe...

bed.

Perminant Ink

Day 3

Played the 12pm again at Caesars Place. Started with 7.5k in chips and went to 15k by the first break, 25k by the second break and busted just before the next break. I got the money in with 2 pair and was called by a flush draw. The draw hit and i was outta there... next time!!

After that I popped over the road to add another little bit of artwork to my body. A very small tat this time. I'll post a photo later, but in the meantime do you think this would suit me?

After that I went over to the Rio again. I debating whether to play the WSOP $2000 event tomorrow. I'm playing pretty well so I might give that a shot over the $1500 on the weekend.

While debating it I played alittle 2/5 again. First hand I was dealt AK os. A raiser on the button and I called in the big blind. The board came K79 with 2 diamonds. I bet, he raised, I push and after a few moment he calls with a J high flush draw. His draw hits again and i'm busted for $300 first hand. Sick. Rather than tilt I got straight up and headed back to the hotel for a little (where I am now!!). After finishing this post i'm heading back over to the Rio to play a little more cash. Hopefully they'll be a few people drinking and donking their stacks off...

So far today i'm still $850 up. If the math doesn't quite add up it's the odd hand of blackjack i play here and there!!

The Palace

Day 2.

I sadly didn't get the nights sleep i was looking for. In bed by 9ish I woke at 3.30am (11.30am UK time) and couldn't get back to sleep. Rather than wander out I decided to relax for a while in bed and turned on the TV. ESPN were showing Wimbledon live. Very surreal watching tennis in bed at 4 in the morning.

At around 8 I headed over to the Rio again and got some brekkie. Pancakes, strawberries and cream really ticked a lot of boxes. I headed off to the Amazon room which, as you'd imagine, was pretty dead. Despite that i sat down in a new 2/5 game and played for an hour really going nowhere. I didn't see much and what I did see was beaten. That said I left an hour or so later only stuck $200. I'd decided that on the recommendation on a few people to try the deep stack tourneys at Caesars Palace. The place itself is pretty amazing like most of the hotels in Vegas, but of course a little tacky in parts. The poker room however is different class. Superb tables, staff and tourney area. I registered early for the $220 midday game and then went for a wander.

At midday I sat down and was already starting to feel a little jaded. I would love to at this point give a few details of hands, but frankly I can't remember any. With 640 entries the room was packed, but after 12 hours i was still there and eventually cashed in 31st place. Took $441 for my troubles which did feel a little of a let down after playing for so long, but i was happy to get back to bed. $32,000 for winner made me feel even worse when I thought about it later!!

Still roughly $1400+.

Vegas.. We have take off...

Day 1.

Landed at 2pm (Vegas time), At the Gold Coast by 4pm and at the Rio playing poker by 5pm. This goes against every rule I have... never play tired, and boy was I tired. Even a 10 hour flight just kills me!!

I'd promised myself that control (in a poker sense... this is Vegas after all!!) would be the order of the day this year in Vegas, and playing within hours of landing didn't really fit with that. The Rio was busy as always during the series, but I landed a seat on a $2-$5 NLH table pretty much straight away and sat down with $500. The fact I was so wiped out might have actually worked in my favour, as rather that play the loose aggressive style i sometimes adopt when forcing the action I instead played pretty tight.

The first hand I played was from the cut off. One raiser in early position (the action had been pretty loose) and 2 callers. I called for $20 with 44 and the blinds folded. The flop came K42 rainbow. Sweet. Early position bet out $50 and the next player raised to $150. Really I should have just called, but I thought if I push it might be seen as a weaker play. I move all in and get called by KQ. One hand played and already i'm up to over $1250. I play for another hour or so and leave with roughly $1450. $950 profit from my first session really perked up.

After that little foray I wander back to my hotel room and try to get some shut eye. One too many diet cokes meant I couldn't sleep so i popped downstairs to get some food and play a little more poker. Sadly at the GC there was only limit tables going... God I hate playing limit, but for anything else i'd have to go out and that wasn't an option.

I sat down with $100 which had everyone covered at the table. I'm not going to run through every hand, but in the space of the hour I played I hit Quads (for a $100 house bonus), two Full houses, 3 flushes and several other winning hands. I don't think i lost a hand i entered. I left the table with $300.

I after that I slept, and god I needed it.

+$1150. A good first few hours.

In David Colemans immortal words... What happened Next??

OK. So I buy into £100 fo at the club tonight, knackered, but eager for a bit of live action. 8,000 chips for your money gives you time to wait for hands in the first few levels. In the first level 25/50 I sit down and see pocket 8's small raise to 100 before me and I call. I make a set on the flop. He bets I call. He slows down and folds when I bet.

Next hand i'm dealt KK. Raise before me, and I reraise. He calls and we see a flop. 10 high rainbow. I bet 3/4 of the pot and he folds.

Next hand. QQ. I take it down. Then AQ. Q high board and I take it down. A great start and the LAG table was perfect when you're hitting cards.

A couple of hands later i'm on the button. The UTG player calls. folded around to the cutoff who raise to 250. I look down and see AA. Super bloody duper. I pop it to 600. BB folds and the limper under the gun pops it to 1200. Yeeehaaah!! The cut off folds. Not I'm thinking perhaps Ak, AQ, AA (unlikely obviously), KK, QQ, JJ or maybe 10's given the table i'm on. I put another raise in to 2500 total to just esure he hasn't got shite. He dwells up, i stare him down (hoping he see's the sign of strength as weakness) and finally he calls. The pot sits at roughly 6k.

What happens next....??

Is my thought process betting on track here?

Bankroll Management... Are you serious?

So a week or so ago I started to build my Gutshot bankroll. I started with a roll of $400 and had my ups and downs first week playing at the wrong level (ahem!) as per usual. This last 9 days i've been playing mostly $0.25/$0.50 and i've had a pretty good run at it. I can't say it's got my blood pumping, but at least it's been profitable and i've not been risking my whole roll. Over the course of 5 days playing on average 2-3 hours a day (i fade after that online!) i'd moved from $400 and change to $1,500. Now normally at this point i'd rock on upto a $2/$4 or higher table and 'take a chance' at a higher level. This time however I decided change the goalposts...

Rather than continue playing low limit poker I would make a deal with myself. If I could build the $1,500 into $2,000 I would take $300 of that and play a little $2/$4. So I ran it up to $2,250 in a few days and banked some of it ($250) before playing at a higher level. Now if I lost the $500 I would have to start playing low limit again, but as long as I bank $250 a week I'm free to play the game which are a little juicer!!

I've had a pretty good few days so far including this session yesterday.

http://www.gutshot.com/bforum/showthread.php?t=26911

My high so far is nearly $5k, but at the moment i'm down to $3,800 of which $2,500 is my drop down line. I've had most success playing $5/$10, but i'm going to try and play mostly $1.50/$3 or a little higher. They seem fairly easy and at least at no stage am i risking it all. I'd be interested to know what people's thoughts are on this method of bankroll management?

Anyway, had my little girl over yesterday and it was her 7th birthday today so i'm knackered after helping organise her swimming party for 15 of her friends!! Tonight I plan to play a little poker at the Gutshot followed by golf tomorrow. Splendid.

Cocked and Ready for Action!

Booked my flights for Vegas the other day!! I fly on June 24th for 2 weeks. Jesus I can't wait! I don't really know anyone out there particularly well, but i'm sure i'll meet people from the Gutshot as I did last year.

I went to the club last week to play cash for the first time in many months. Sat down in the £1-£2 PLH game and played my usual array of cards. Sat with £200 and within 2 hours i'd spun that up to £575 so I cashed out. One hand did stick out. I raised in early position to £6 with suited AJ and got 7 callers! Ahem!! Then the big blind, who'd done his stack several times already squeezed it up to £50. I went into the tank for a brief moment before binning the AJ. The raiser then got 2 callers. The flop comes 3h 3d 5c. The original raiser pushes for his last £70 while saying 'nobody can have a 3 with that action preflop', he gets insta called by the other players. Now guess what they had... The raiser had Q 10 off suit, first caller 34 sooted and the final person has 78!! Jesus I wouldn't have had them on that. The orginal reraiser then said 'I knew I was ahead pre flop!'... What?!?! With 8 people in the pot he didn't thing anyone had a pair or a card higher than a queen?! The turn and river come 78 to give the small side pot to the 78. What an odd hand!

I hope the games are this juicy in Vegas!!

First things first and very nearly the last..

Last Sunday I deposited the first $400 of the cash i'll deposit on The Gutshot this month. I've had pretty much 2 weeks from playing poker only broken by playing the NLH and PLO forum games on the Gutshot. I won the NLH tourney for a small $100 prize, but it all counts...

This week i'll be concentrating on the Gutshot100 SNG League and playing $0.25/$0.50 6 handed cash games... or so I thought! I started to play Sunday evening, and without thinking started played $2/$4 cash tables. I spun the original money to $600 before moving up to $5/$10 and spinning up to $1200. This all happened pretty quickly and just as quickly went the other way first losing a big pot with AA against KK with made a set on the turn, and then when I had KK and lost to AA. Now I'm back where I started (roughly) on $388.

Why do I do this? I start with the best intentions and with little or no self control play limits well over my bankroll. It really pisses me off when I don't follow my own rules...

In this instance no harm done, but it could have quite easily meant having to deposit another of $400 i've put aside for the Gutshot BR this month. Has anyone ever worked how to increase your self control? Life would be many times simpler if it was possible! Would taking away temptation help, or would I just find new things to tempt me?

So after a rocky start to the week it looks like i'll not have time to play again until maybe Thursday. The football tonight followed by the 'big match' tomorrow night will hopefully give an all red final near Red Square.

Over the last 2 years i've gone from a reasonable 72kgs to over 94kgs. Aside from controlling the levels at which I play poker and building a bankroll I want to lose some of that lard. This weekend I'll buy a new bike which i've had my eye on for a few weeks. I have a tendency to always buy the more expensive options, but i've seen a Trek hybrid bike that's got excellent reviews and falls into my £500 budget. I want to try and put in 60 km's a week for the first few weeks and I hope this help with my poker. Exercise when I feel i'm playing poorly or there's a chance of tilt will be my new mantra!!

Hopefully i'll get my flight and hotel booked for Vegas this weekend. After looking in the week I should be able to make the last $1500 bracelet event and plan to book into the Gold Coast for 2 weeks to try and satellite into the main event. Once it's all booked I can forget about and get in some sort of physical and mental shape!!

Where, When, What and How?

So this week I'm on poker sabbatical. Revising if you like for the grind ahead. An enjoyable grind, but a grind all the same. I'm away in Stockholm from Sunday to Thursday and plan to finish reading Harrington on cash game in that time. So far i've found the first few chapters to be interesting, perhaps enlightening, but certainly not riveting. I get bored easily. I always have and always will so reading books comes in fits and starts. I don't imagine i'll learn a huge about, but more reinforce what I already know. This is something that's very much needed.

A few questions i've been pondering this week is whether or not it's worth playing on more than one site with my reasonably small bankroll. I will definitely play on The Gutshot, but was toying with the idea of playing another. Maybe Poker Trillion? They seem to have some decent offers, and qualifiers for the WSOP. A second question is what limits should I play if I deposit say $800?

I've proven on many sites that i'm a winning player at lower limits such as 25c/50c, but is this a big enough roll to play these relatively low limits? The rule i'm going to go by is the 5% rule Phil Laak wrote about and I mentioned in my first post. Given this $40 buy in that limit will be fine, but I know i'll be dying to take a step up quickly. The urge i'll have to resist for the time being.

On the odd school day i've been at home playing poker i've found that the better players scurry down the limits to find the food. The weekend has always seemed like easier money and a better time to take the odd shot at higher levels. As the pubs clear out on Friday and Saturday nights poker players prey on the drunk. These are times i've generally had my higher returns. I intend to look more into this before next week.

The last thing i'm committing to this week is to play at least two events at the European Series of Poker Festival at the Gutshot towards the end of May. At the moment i'm looking at playing the PLO £200 FO and the Main event, although i'll try and qualify for that. I'll pay for this separately as a little treat to myself. Out of the two £100+ buy in events i've played this year i've made final tables on both for a £1500 combined cash. As i've historically kept my on and offline bank rolls separate i'll use the old funds.

In the Beginning...

They say poker is a game of decisions based on imperfect information. You make a decision to bet, raise, check, call or fold based on the information laid out in front of you. For me this just mirrors life. You make decisions in life with the best intentions and on the information you have, but a percentage of the time you're going to be wrong.

I can't remember the first time I played poker, but i do remember it was 5 card draw. I more than likely played with friends, and more than likely we played with little or no knowledge of the rules. Like most poker players these days i play the variation called Texas Holdem, although in the last few weeks i've been playing more Omaha. I watched Late Night Poker in years gone by and over the years fell in love with the game.



I am most definitely an amateur player, but have qualified for and played in the World Series of Poker Main event in 2007 and other live tournaments. I qualified for the WSOP through the Gutshot in London , which is where i've played the majority of my live poker over the last few years. I also post on the www.gutshot.com forum as Deeve and play poker under moniker of The_Chimp.

I decided recently that the main obstacle stopping me from becoming a 'winning' poker player was bank roll management. I have an excellent grasp of the game, and in the short term have no trouble either progressing to final tables of tourneys, winning SNG's or making advances in cash games. What is letting me down is the inability to control which level I play at and therefore for third time in my poker career this week I bust out.

A fellow member on the Gutshot poker forum posted this link for me to read.

http://www.bluffmagazine.com/magazine/Kelly%27s-Criterion-Phil-Laak-1295.htm

Although the article was nothing new to me, when reading it in such basic terms I decided (for once in my life!!) to take the advice on board.

This week i'm taking a poker time-out to reread Harrington on Holdem vol 2 and also his new Harrington on Cash games. As of next week i'll deposit a bankroll on Gutshot and start the grind playing tourneys, SNG's and ring games to build that bankroll. I will post session reviews, some (yawn!) hand histories and hope some readers might find it interesting to read and make comment.

I played in the WSOP 2007 and by no means disgraced myself losing to a runner, runner on one of the final hands of Day 1b in a 70k chip pot. I'm committed to going again this year to (unless I qualify before) play a super satellite in Vegas and maybe one of the $1,500 bracelet events. In the meantime i'll be attempting to improve my game.

http://www.gutshot.com/bforum/